Are you a YES person? Or aren't you aware of it yet?
Let me give you some examples:
👉 you have already made plans tonight but here comes a client who gives you a last-minute request, and this isn't the first time that she's done it. You said yes and canceled your plans.
👉 you're on a vacation and have provided your team enough notice so that they can work on things even when you're away. They still sent you emails or slack messages asking for your help. You agreed to help and missed being present on your plotted days off.
👉 a team member asks for a favor but you know your plate's full. You still said yes.
And when you kept saying YES to these things, deep down you felt sad, disappointed, angry, or you kept convincing yourself that I'm saying yes to this just for today.
But really!?
You ended up resenting the situation, the client, your team members, and even yourself. 😟
I'm not here to judge because the examples I gave you, are my real-life experiences so I can relate to what you're feeling!
Many people struggle with the fear of rejection, which can make it difficult to say "no." 😔
We've all been in a situation where we've said "yes" when really we should have said "no." It's understandable, but it's not always the best solution.
Today, I'll share with you why "no" is so hard and how you can overcome the fear of rejection. Plus, some tips for setting boundaries and taking care of yourself. 😊
"NO is a complete answer."
While I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, I saw this quote and it made me think, "IS IT REALLY, THOUGH?"
I then recalled how many times in both my personal and business lives did I say YES when I actually meant no? 🤔
I took some time to do some compassionate inquiry on this and it made me realize why I was reluctant or even afraid to say NO most of the time:
💔 Fear of hurting someone's feelings or not meeting an expectation
💔 Fear of what will people think or say about me
💔 Fear of letting someone down because I am to please!
💔 Fear of not being enough
Saying "no" is difficult for many people because it's not something we're really taught to do; that's why many struggles with saying no and hey, I'm still a work in progress in this area. 🤓
When you aren't sure how to say "no," you'll often end up feeling stressed and drained.
We might worry that if we decline or reject something, the other person will think less of us or we fear that we will miss out on an opportunity.
However, learning to say no is an important skill that can help you protect not just your time, but also your emotional and emotional state. 😉
The moment I started choosing myself and what's good for my business, that's time it felt really good to say NO, without any guilt, actually mean it; and consistently enforce my boundaries.
Here's what I did:
💕 as soon as I caught myself thinking about what they'll say about me, I stop everything that I'm doing and I look myself in the mirror for just a minute. Then, I close my eyes and remind myself that I AM NOT WHAT THEY THINK OF ME. I say about five more affirmations and take about five deep breaths to calm myself.
💕 when I start to think I am not enough, I write down at least five things that I love about myself and I just start to laugh or paint a huge smile on my face.
Here's an example: - I'm really good at making people laugh to the point where they cry, LOL!
- I'm as resilient as the bamboo, I rarely break but when I do, I know I have people I can depend on
- I'm a pro in cooking pancake -- been doing it for five years now, haha!
- I'm intuitive and can easily sense if something is wrong or if someone feels off and this is a rare gift!
- I just love how I maintain a neat, clean, and organized house (I know, I'm a superwoman 😂)
I know these are easier said/written than done, but with a consistent and supportive system, I'm making it a habit to do these and it has been life-changing.
I also realized I was and am CHOOSING myself, and TAKING CARE of myself when I did these.
Just remember that saying no doesn't make you less of a person - it just means that you have limits, and those limits need to be respected.
This can be difficult initially and made me anxious, but it's a feeling and a realization that is so irreplaceable and will become easier over time. 😭
These three doctors - Dr. Brené Brown, Dr. Bruce Perry, and Dr. Gabor Maté - helped me change the way I think, the way I see and talk to myself, how to deal with others, how to say NO and even strengthen relationships (go ahead and check who these amazing souls are!)
And you can definitely do the same 😍
Is NO a complete answer for you, or do you need some work to do in this area?
Share them in the comments!
Cheering you on,
MJ 💕
